We landed in a home whose gardens hide an underground tunnel to the sea that purportedly inspired Lewis Carroll's rabbit hole. So began our life just left of the rabbit hole.
It's official: not only are we married, but we're done with wedding planning—for now. Last weekend, in between our recent move and my new job, we squeezed in a quick trip to the States for Wedding #2. That's right, with us, the fun never ends. And we pulled this wedding off by the skin of our teeth.
Chic yet cozy in what one Parisian (Nicolas) is calling "the new burka." Ah, the glamour of flying in economy class. (En route to our US wedding reception.)
Other than checking off the venue, sending a round of invites, and finding the The Dress version 3.0, we didn't really give this wedding much thought until June, at which point we realized we were looking at a 60-person guest list and all we'd planned was brunch. What the heck were we supposed to do with all those people traveling from all across the US (and even Canada)??
First thing's first: if it's a wedding, there should be some sort of ceremony. But, not much for theatrics, Nicolas and I figured the most genuine solution was to share a short reel of highlights from the our actual I do's. With the help of some friends and Light Works free video editing software, we got on that. But that and the musical performance from Nicolas's dad would hardly fill up an entire 3 hour brunch, so we got on the internets and found ourselves some wedding games to fill the gaps.
Find The Guest Bingo, one of our wedding games, an ice breaker that sent guests searching the room for people with certain professions, hobbies, and years of high school graduation, among other traits
We'd also had the idea that there should be an after party at my parents' place, but we figured no one would really show up at a Sunday evening shindig other than local family and friends. Spoiler: were we ever wrong! Luckily, having bought enough to feed a small army, that wasn't a problem.
And finally, we'd vaguely planning to do "something touristy" on Saturday with any out-of-town guests who might be mulling about in Philly on the day before the reception. Mid-June, we emailed out to see who'd be game, and interest levels blew us away: a full third of our wedding guests were up for it! Time pressures tested our organizational skills, but with a week and a half to go, we managed to schedule, cancel, and reschedule a walking tour of historic Philly followed by dinner and drinks. Ultimately, we settled on a tour with Urban Adventures followed by an evening overlooking the Liberty Bell at Independence Beer Garden. And, miraculously enough, it all worked out.
Walking tour highlights. Top row: the most random billboard, Elfreth's Alley (the oldest residential street in America), Nicolas and me in front of Independence Hall, and the B. Free Franklin Post Office and Museum. Bottom row: Another shot of Elfreth's Alley, a studio covered in the mosaics of Isaiah Zagar, the wild mastermind behind Philadelphia's Magic Gardens (where I'd have chosen to host our wedding if they did weekend receptions), and the whole gang of "kids" in front of Independence Hall.
With two tour guides, our groups naturally broke into the "grown ups" and the "kids" tours, where "kids" were defined as more or less those under 40. Our guide was full of fun and random facts, perhaps most memorable of which was Betsy Ross's love life. After losing her first husband, she found a replacement, only to lose him as he wasted away in a jail cell. But never fear, the cell mate held on long enough to make his way out of jail and into the arms of Mrs. Ross, as husband #3.
The lovely Independence Beer Garden, overlooking the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, where we spent the evening with 20 or so out-of-town guests before wedding #2
When the tour ended at the Independence Beer Garden, things were touch and go for a minute or so—first off when the bouncer decided that European state-issued IDs would not be accepted for people under 30 (which is a problem when the groom is a 29-year-old Frenchman), and again once we'd wrangled past the bouncer, when we discovered that seating was going to be a challenge. But no sooner had my mom disappeared into the deepest reaches of the garden in a last-ditch seating search when the table right beside us asked for the bill. In short succession, the two adjacent tables also downed their last glasses. Within 20 minutes or so, we'd seated a party of 20 side-by-side sans reservation in a happening, center city beer garden on a glorious mid-summer Saturday evening.
The pre-wedding(#2) party at the Independence Beer Garden!
We wound the evening down a few blocks over, at the Franklin Fountain, a historically-inspired soda fountain where my father-in-law was reminded of just why you shouldn't order a large cone in a US ice cream shop. :)
Wrapping up our evening over root beer floats, ladies' choices, and oversized ice cream cones at the Franklin Fountain
The following morning, as the unlikely musical duo of my father-in-law and my sorority sister Xiao Xiao ironed out their piano/cello duet, I sat in a salon getting arguably my best hair and make-up of this entire marital extravaganza.
Admiring my latest bridal look as it came together deliciously in the salon
I emerged an hour and a half later, decked out like someone straight from the Great Gatsby, and surprisingly pleased by just how this look had pulled together, from the Jacques Vert fascinator to the Irregular Choice heels. My elementary school teacher pulled up in her SUV at 5 to noon to take me over for my big surprise—for once, Nicolas didn't know what to expect with regards to my wedding attire.
Outfit reveal (and the miracles ebay shopping): Jacques Vert fascinator (originally £79, purchased for £35), one-off Timothy O'Sullivan (former Jenny Packham pattern cutter) '20s-inspired hand-made wedding gown (similarly-styled Jenny Packham gowns retail for about £3000, purchased for £300), Mary Frances Mercury Rising handbag (originally £189, purchased on ebay for £38), Irregular Choice Courtesan Floral Bar heels (originally £79, purchased for £40)
The three-hour brunch breezed past.
Bella Tori at the Mansion was all decked out in an classic/shabby chic charm for our US wedding reception.
We hardly showed face during the first twenty minutes of our reception, between our "first look" and posed family photos.
The "First Look": for once, Nicolas didn't actually know what to expect!
Families saying cheese
Then came our grand entrance as husband and wife, followed by a quick toast and the wedding ceremony highlights video.
Our grand entrance as husband and wife was followed by a short but sweet toast from my mom before we launched the wedding video, throwing our guests back into April 15 on the south coast of England for the next 6 minutes.
Nicolas's dad and my sorority sister Xiao Xiao had devoted a nice chunk of their weekend to perfecting their wedding duet on piano and cello. I think they thoroughly impressed the crowd.
Xiao Xiao and Serge performed a duet on the piano and cello
Between all the group photos and the requisite wedding drama, it was time to thank our guests before we'd hardly said hello.
The group shots of sorority sisters, 5th Westers, and high school friends, which felt like they ate up nearly half of the reception, turned out to be a surprisingly good way to steal small groups away from the party one at a time to have a chance to catch up in a more intimate setting.
The brevity of it all hammered home how meaningful it had been to spend the previous afternoon with so many of the out-of-town guests. Only as we began our goodbyes did we start to understand (to our delight) just how many people weren't saying bye just yet—they'd all scheduled in our after party. (Thank you, withjoy—our wedding website—for spreading the word!)
Pink hearts and Congrats! balloons jostled each other above our mailbox, surrounded by a fleet of vehicles, as we pulled up to my parents' driveway. Soon enough, we'd pulled the beer tap dry and the backyard card game was going strong. For all you horrible people who love Cards Against Humanity and are considering marriage, I can't recommend Cads About Matrimony highly enough. It was the perfect way to mark my wedding with my cousins, that crowd with whom I stay up late one night just after Christmas each year to continue the hallowed tradition that is Cousins Campout, which has matured like a fine wine from tents in backyards as kids, to steins and late night games now that we've come of age. I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time that card game makes an appearance at an Aloia family wedding.
No after party is complete without the after-after party. At least that's what we decided as the part wound down to my 5th West (college dorm) and Paris friends. We hopped in our cards and drove down to Philly to toast the night over beers and bar food at an unexpected Sunday night happy hour at Kraftwork. I can't believe how much I've missed that crew. Having them all together and reliving all the crazy moments brought me back to the best that MIT offered me. It was unreal. I can't express how glad I am to see that these relationships haven't been lost to time, a reassurance I can't often have when living on the other side of an ocean.
The after-after-party at Kraftwork
I was so touched to see so many friends and family from so many stages of my life coming together after all these years. I guess the years had numbed me to how much I miss everyone. I may love life in Europe, but this weekend drove home some of the sacrifices that have come with the lifestyle I choose. But, surrounded by so much love, it was hard for any of that realization to feel bittersweet just then.
As for the rest of the trip, there's not much to say. There was some passport renewal, then more passport renewal—write that off as a general fiasco. Suffice it to say that Nicolas's first trip to the East Coast of the US included way more of the inside of admin buildings that of actual tourist attractions. At least this East Coast trip shouldn't be his last.
And after it all was over, there were at least a pair of furry someones who were not unhappy to see their humans come to their senses and return to England.
Finally, back at home in England with our furbabies.
Each year, when the sun stays out to play and day stretch into bed time, while the Danes burn their witches, Brits of a certain social inclination flock to the Royal Ascot. And while the royal bit is not a requisite for entry, you can bet the queen will be on hand. (Heck, you can even bet on the color she'll be sporting.)
Place your bet on the queen's fashion choice!
So my friends and I shelled out for a top-notch day of people watching, with some horses on the side.
A day rubbing shoulders at the races
My eyes just could not get enough. Every turn of my head brought on an even more cleverly, creatively composed get-up, literally from head to toe. That's because at Ascot, as tradition dictates that all the ladies are to wear a hat or fascinator. And do they ever. The ambience Ascot achieves is completely unlike anything I could imagine Stateside: so many hundreds (thousands?) of people come together, all in on the classy unironic get-ups, men in tailcoats and top hats, ladies decked brightly colored works of art, and—the icing on the cake—a queen in a royal carriage. And I even achieved a life goal I never knew I had: Took a photo with the queen! (Just a fuchsia speck in the background, but still, that speck is the queen!!)
Just your regular afternoon with me and the queen (in fuchsia, on the green)
Now to see if I can't bring along some arm candy in the form of my husband in a top hat next year. 😁
That's right, yesterday was a big one: I finally ended my nearly half-year stretch of being a kept woman. Last week, a certain letter from the Home Office was warmly welcomed into our lives, and work papers were rapidly assembled. Now I've got my 9-5, and I certainly can't complain about the first twenty minutes of my daily commute.
The first twenty minutes of my commute, biking along the sea front and then waiting at the bus stop at Old Steine, just outside the Royal Pavilion
The next three and a half hours of commuting, on the other hand, I could do without. Let's just say that car ownership is very much in the works.
The Brighton Fringe: England's largest annual arts festival, and the reason that the Old Steine has been teeming with life for the past month, from pop-up bars to circus tents to cage dancers. With more than 970 events over the course of 4 weeks, it didn't seem right to only see one. A friend from circus class and I had gone to (what else?) a circus performance mid-May. Freshly returned from Italy, it was only right to make sure Michelle got a bit more of a proper introduction to Brighton before sending her back to the States. And with Brighton proudly strutting it's stuff for the final few days of the Fringe, the timing could hardly be better. In a half week, with a very complaisant Nicolas, we managed to squeeze in both the Bad Luck Cabaret and a Friday night performance of Circus'cision: the Ones that Made the Cut. As someone who's been studying circus for the past year, can I just saw, wow and wow. Also, a thank you to Nicolas, who sat with us in the front row and was singled out for a beating from a clown. (That's not the sort of stuff I learn in circus class.)
It's been years since I lived in Italy, but a tour through Italy (a giro d'Italia) never gets old. There will always be a certain sense of coming home when I land in this country. It was my first proper taste of Europe, and the place where I was sold on making a life for myself on this side of the Atlantic. I've just returned from a full-week tour of the country (planned with my sister just before this eviction nonsense blasted my world.) I'd normally try to write up something nice and comprehensive after an extensive tour of a foreign country, but I'm afraid there's just a little too much going on these days. But, since the trip was mostly built around good food, gorgeous vistas, and a smattering of history, I think the pictures can do most of the talking anyway. So in lieu of your standard blogpost, I've tossed together a few random take-aways from each destination my sister and I hit up during our week-long giro d'Italia (tour of Italy). Feel free to skim through the words as you soak in the sights and imagine the delicious flavors of la dolce vita.
Rome
1. The Villa Borghese is shockingly big, and pretty beautiful. Why had I missed this on all my previous visits?
2. The Colosseum appears to be getting rebuilt, and a handful of articles from 2015 all note that the country was earmarking millions to do so. But why?
3. Thefork, a French website through which you can book restaurant reservations and get free discounts, has a major presence in Rome. Thank you, thefork, for some delicious savings!
Rome
Vatican City
1. Michaelangelo was a real bad-ass: he picked a fight with a pope who blew him off, and had to be kidnapped to return to Rome to paint the Vatican. Just one more anecdote on Michaelangelo's extraordinary gift for art and artistic insight (our Vatican tour guide had hours of them): in the sculpture of Laocoön and His Sons (top left corner in the collage), Laocoön's upper (right) arm was missing when the sculpture was unearthed in the early 1500s. A handful of artists were called in to interpret how the missing arm would have been positioned. All but Michaelangelo argued that the arm would be outstretched, whereas Michaelangelo insisted that it would have been bent backwards in agony. A restoration with an outstretched arm was thus installed and remained for centuries, until an art dealer stumbled across the missing arm in the early 1900s— bent backwards just as Michaelangelo said it would be.
2. The Hall of Maps is way more impressive that I remembered— imagine a massively glorified version of Versailles's Hall of Mirrors.
3. Technically just outside the Vatican, but the Gelateria del Teatro lies just a stone's throw away, and its dark chocolate & wine gelato is to die for.
Vatican City
Naples
1. I never realized that there was a Gucci-Cartier-Louis Vuitton neighborhood in Naples! And just west of the historical city center, along the seafront. Thumbs up to our night on this part of the city.
2. The Chiesa Gesù Nuovo— damn. 'nuf said. (See top right picture in the collage.)
3. I have to return! There is so much more of this city than I had realized in my first two visits! I am particularly excited to go visit the Treasury of San Gennaro. Who knew that one of the world's most valuable collection of jewels was hidden in this city?
Naples
Sorrento, Capri, & Pompeii
1. The locals don't restrict themselves to limoncello or even meloncello— there are literally dozens of flavors of 'cellos here. We even took home a ciocconcello (chocolate flavored) to test.
2. In Pompeii, the crosswalks were stepping stones laid across the streets, spaced at standardized intervals so that cart wheels could glide between the stones, no speed bump effect required.
3. Il Giardino di Gennaro is a wine shop and cozy restaurant in Sorrento that's absolutely worth a return visit (and next time I won't miss their limoncello tasting tour!). Home-made pastas and perfectly paired Italian wines... mmm. And for a tasty follow-up, swing down the street for a gelato at Primavera.
Sorrento, Capri, and Pompeii. Top row: the fabulous vistas (including that from our Airbnb); Middle row: the possibly even more fabulous food and drink (plus gelato, just below; Bottom row: Pompeii, including yoga on an ancient crosswalk, and some wonderfully vibrant flowers overflowing down a wall, typical in this region.
Furore & the Amalfi Coast
1. There are fjords in Italy, apparently! (And this was pretty much the only thing of note in the absurdly picturesque not-quite-a-town where we were staying.)
2. Amalfi is not just a region, it's also a town, and one that's probably worth more than just a stop over for dinner.
3. Baked ricotta— o.m.g. How did I get through three decades of life without knowing you?
Buongiorno, Amalfi!
Too soon, it was time to say arrivederci to beautiful, sunny, delicious Italy. How I wish I could still call it home.
In all the hubbub of our first few months in Brighton, I never took the time to share our new home. I was planning to finally post some collages of our lovingly decorated home in the space between our wedding and the arrival of my UK visa. Little did I know how packed that space of time would become. Before I dive in to the latest chapter in the saga of our first year in Britain, let me show you the place we've loved calling home since last September.
You already saw glimpses of it in our wedding photos, but here is the street we've called home.
And the views to the sea from our front door.
Now, take a step inside. Welcome to the world's most glorious living room, just to your left as you walk in the front door. Notice how the ten-seater dining table is dwarfed under these ceilings. For the first time in our adult lives, last November's Thanksgiving, with 18 guests, didn't feel overcrowded. (Well, okay, maybe just a little.) But just check out all those shelves. So much storage space, we hardly knew what to do with it! (But we figured out fast.)
Wander down our delightful front hallway, whose walls are not quite parallel, and an image of the very modest bathroom (top right).
Off the front hallway, here's the master bedroom, with its high ceilings that never ceased to impress me. I love how the light from the Turkish lamp on my bedside dances up its walls.
Turn down the back hallway, past the bathroom and hallway closet, to reach the guest room and, finally, the kitchen.
We (okay, I) designed the Alice in Wonderland themed guest room/office in homage to the tunnel that may have inspired Alice's rabbit hole, right in our private gardens. The construction of the horizontal Murphy bed-desk, on the other hand, was a two-person effort and a real labor of love at that.
And at last, welcome to the deliciously retro-style kitchen, which opens to yet a third hallway/bike storage area. We had to buy a special tray to shuttle our dinners back and forth from this kitchen all the way to our living room.
Lucky you!, you might say. Oh, lucky indeed.
As you may remember, we had to plan our wedding in just 3 months' time since I lost my job and thus my right to live (with Nicolas) in the UK. We only moved to the UK last September when I landed a consulting gig, but after just 9 days on the job, the company let me go— they've since fired almost 50% of their staff, but it's rough to move to a new country for only 9 days of work!! Especially considering I'd left a stable job in Denmark, and my firing meant not only no salary, but no visa to live in the same country as my partner. (Hence the wedding bells.)
As luck would have it, I got a new job the week before our wedding— right near Brighton! Yay! After flying all over Europe and the US for job interviews, we were so happy to get the good news that we'd be staying in this town we love. I've signed the contract, but I need my spouse visa before I can begin working. To that end, the week after the wedding, we filled out a several hundred page application with all sorts of weirdly invasive questions about our relationship. No sooner had we finished filling out and assembling all the application (and paying immigration lawyers!), but we got a notice of eviction— for no reason!! The landlord has decided to repossess the property, likely so he can sell. That's right, the lovely home I just paraded before you, it's gone, now all in piles scattered across a new flat with overwhelmingly blank walls.
We faced the seemingly insurmountable task of finding a new home without having any written proof of my right to live in the UK, nor any payslips from 2017. (Nicolas's earnings are all in cash.) Who would ever rent to us?? Luckily, our realtors agreed to vouch for us if we stuck with them, but they only had a single flat available that was in our budget and would accept our cats— and this flat was uglier and more expensive than our actual home. Our realtors were also able to offer us (with only light begging) a bigger flat, if we "had an interested friend."
Along the waterfront, a few blocks closer to town center, this flat was tucked away behind a teensy private garden. With full sea views and ceilings, believe it or not, even higher than our previous flat, it has incredible potential. Plus, the two separate hallways leading to double bedrooms each with their own en suite make the ideal layout for flatshare among more mature renters who appreciate their own space.
A very hectic 24 hours ensued, but we found a nice person online who was also in a pinch, and was willing to pretend to be our long-time friend looking to move in with us. (This new place is pretty fabulous, actually, if you get past the idea of moving into a flatshare during the first month of marriage.)
We're now in the process of disassembling out lives and rebuilding them a few blocks away. It seems like if it's not one thing, it's another. And since 2017 seems to be going this way for us, we got another surprise: our electricity and gas company, who we contacted to close up our account, discovered that they completely forgot to charge us the electricity-half of our electricity-and-gas bills for the past year, so now we've got an extra year of electricity bills thrown at us! It seems we really can't get a break.
There is still a slight chance that I won't be able to get my passport back from the UK Home Office (the people processing my UK spouse visa application), so I may end up missing my own wedding, and skyping it in... but Nicolas will be there for sure. It will actually be the first time he even meets my extended family. I'm hoping I get to introduce him in person!
Wait, didn't she just get married?? I know, right, this is totally how I feel. It was amazing, getting married, but can't the wedding be over already? Nope. I woke up Tuesday morning, after all our family had finally left town, to a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized this roller coaster was about to begin its second lap. Well, if that's the case, best dive right in. I loved my dresses- I mean, adored them- getting to be a Disney Cinderella princess and then a '50s glamour queen? Um, yes, please. But neither or these dresses would work for the US. The Ian Stuart was far too big for international travel (not to mention that I'd already done my time in a corset), and I might just sweat myself to death in the lace dress with sleeves in Philly in July. I thought about chopping off the sleeves, but it would still be too heavy. No, it was time to sort out dress #3, and as this was the biggest item remaining in wedding #2's to-do list, I figured it was best to tackle this first. And boy did I do just that.
After scouring gumtree and eBay, I thought I'd found the one, in the suburbs of London. And since I had a day pass for the London metro area anyway, checking it out was free. Little did I know that *the one* would be waiting on the very next hanger.
The seller, Timothy O'Sullivan, is a pattern cutter and product developer for the luxury market. He has worked for some major fashion brands including Jenny Peckham, a dress designer whose works I'd been eyeing up, but whose prices were way out of reach, even second hand. Timothy's bridal collection, while very much in the Jenny Peckham style, was based off of historical fashions that he studied in his spare time. He had only sewn a single example of each of his designs and, miraculously, all were just my size! (Click here to check out more of Tim's portfolio— don't worry, no spoilers!) Slipping on his original creations, knowing no one else had ever worn any of these dresses, felt like being let in on a delightfully silky secret. And, well, it turns out the flapper style can work better than I'd ever thought it could on someone with my figure.
Tim really showed his hand when he told me how hard it is to sell dresses on eBay. Armed with this information and the knowledge that eBay skims 10% off the sale price (having recently become an eBay seller myself!), I offered him £5 over his asking price, in cash, to let me walk away with the dress in hand. I may have paid more for this dress than my other two combined (a testament to what bargains those other dresses were), but I've paid about a tenth of a Jenny Peckham price tag for something even more original and just as elegant.
For once, I won't spoil the surprise. You'll just have to wait until summer to see this what this whimsical, one-of-a-kind gown can do. It is sure to make me feel like a princess all over again come July.
And with that victory, I returned to London to enjoy the company of a very special out-of-town guest from wedding #1.
Thank you, Melissa, for a lovely evening at the Oxford and Cambridge Club!
