We landed in a home whose gardens hide an underground tunnel to the sea that purportedly inspired Lewis Carroll's rabbit hole. So began our life just left of the rabbit hole.
It's official: not only are we married, but we're done with wedding planning—for now. Last weekend, in between our recent move and my new job, we squeezed in a quick trip to the States for Wedding #2. That's right, with us, the fun never ends. And we pulled this wedding off by the skin of our teeth.
Chic yet cozy in what one Parisian (Nicolas) is calling "the new burka." Ah, the glamour of flying in economy class. (En route to our US wedding reception.)
Other than checking off the venue, sending a round of invites, and finding the The Dress version 3.0, we didn't really give this wedding much thought until June, at which point we realized we were looking at a 60-person guest list and all we'd planned was brunch. What the heck were we supposed to do with all those people traveling from all across the US (and even Canada)??
First thing's first: if it's a wedding, there should be some sort of ceremony. But, not much for theatrics, Nicolas and I figured the most genuine solution was to share a short reel of highlights from the our actual I do's. With the help of some friends and Light Works free video editing software, we got on that. But that and the musical performance from Nicolas's dad would hardly fill up an entire 3 hour brunch, so we got on the internets and found ourselves some wedding games to fill the gaps.
Find The Guest Bingo, one of our wedding games, an ice breaker that sent guests searching the room for people with certain professions, hobbies, and years of high school graduation, among other traits
We'd also had the idea that there should be an after party at my parents' place, but we figured no one would really show up at a Sunday evening shindig other than local family and friends. Spoiler: were we ever wrong! Luckily, having bought enough to feed a small army, that wasn't a problem.
And finally, we'd vaguely planning to do "something touristy" on Saturday with any out-of-town guests who might be mulling about in Philly on the day before the reception. Mid-June, we emailed out to see who'd be game, and interest levels blew us away: a full third of our wedding guests were up for it! Time pressures tested our organizational skills, but with a week and a half to go, we managed to schedule, cancel, and reschedule a walking tour of historic Philly followed by dinner and drinks. Ultimately, we settled on a tour with Urban Adventures followed by an evening overlooking the Liberty Bell at Independence Beer Garden. And, miraculously enough, it all worked out.
Walking tour highlights. Top row: the most random billboard, Elfreth's Alley (the oldest residential street in America), Nicolas and me in front of Independence Hall, and the B. Free Franklin Post Office and Museum. Bottom row: Another shot of Elfreth's Alley, a studio covered in the mosaics of Isaiah Zagar, the wild mastermind behind Philadelphia's Magic Gardens (where I'd have chosen to host our wedding if they did weekend receptions), and the whole gang of "kids" in front of Independence Hall.
With two tour guides, our groups naturally broke into the "grown ups" and the "kids" tours, where "kids" were defined as more or less those under 40. Our guide was full of fun and random facts, perhaps most memorable of which was Betsy Ross's love life. After losing her first husband, she found a replacement, only to lose him as he wasted away in a jail cell. But never fear, the cell mate held on long enough to make his way out of jail and into the arms of Mrs. Ross, as husband #3.
The lovely Independence Beer Garden, overlooking the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, where we spent the evening with 20 or so out-of-town guests before wedding #2
When the tour ended at the Independence Beer Garden, things were touch and go for a minute or so—first off when the bouncer decided that European state-issued IDs would not be accepted for people under 30 (which is a problem when the groom is a 29-year-old Frenchman), and again once we'd wrangled past the bouncer, when we discovered that seating was going to be a challenge. But no sooner had my mom disappeared into the deepest reaches of the garden in a last-ditch seating search when the table right beside us asked for the bill. In short succession, the two adjacent tables also downed their last glasses. Within 20 minutes or so, we'd seated a party of 20 side-by-side sans reservation in a happening, center city beer garden on a glorious mid-summer Saturday evening.
The pre-wedding(#2) party at the Independence Beer Garden!
We wound the evening down a few blocks over, at the Franklin Fountain, a historically-inspired soda fountain where my father-in-law was reminded of just why you shouldn't order a large cone in a US ice cream shop. :)
Wrapping up our evening over root beer floats, ladies' choices, and oversized ice cream cones at the Franklin Fountain
The following morning, as the unlikely musical duo of my father-in-law and my sorority sister Xiao Xiao ironed out their piano/cello duet, I sat in a salon getting arguably my best hair and make-up of this entire marital extravaganza.
Admiring my latest bridal look as it came together deliciously in the salon
I emerged an hour and a half later, decked out like someone straight from the Great Gatsby, and surprisingly pleased by just how this look had pulled together, from the Jacques Vert fascinator to the Irregular Choice heels. My elementary school teacher pulled up in her SUV at 5 to noon to take me over for my big surprise—for once, Nicolas didn't know what to expect with regards to my wedding attire.
Outfit reveal (and the miracles ebay shopping): Jacques Vert fascinator (originally £79, purchased for £35), one-off Timothy O'Sullivan (former Jenny Packham pattern cutter) '20s-inspired hand-made wedding gown (similarly-styled Jenny Packham gowns retail for about £3000, purchased for £300), Mary Frances Mercury Rising handbag (originally £189, purchased on ebay for £38), Irregular Choice Courtesan Floral Bar heels (originally £79, purchased for £40)
The three-hour brunch breezed past.
Bella Tori at the Mansion was all decked out in an classic/shabby chic charm for our US wedding reception.
We hardly showed face during the first twenty minutes of our reception, between our "first look" and posed family photos.
The "First Look": for once, Nicolas didn't actually know what to expect!
Families saying cheese
Then came our grand entrance as husband and wife, followed by a quick toast and the wedding ceremony highlights video.
Our grand entrance as husband and wife was followed by a short but sweet toast from my mom before we launched the wedding video, throwing our guests back into April 15 on the south coast of England for the next 6 minutes.
Nicolas's dad and my sorority sister Xiao Xiao had devoted a nice chunk of their weekend to perfecting their wedding duet on piano and cello. I think they thoroughly impressed the crowd.
Xiao Xiao and Serge performed a duet on the piano and cello
Between all the group photos and the requisite wedding drama, it was time to thank our guests before we'd hardly said hello.
The group shots of sorority sisters, 5th Westers, and high school friends, which felt like they ate up nearly half of the reception, turned out to be a surprisingly good way to steal small groups away from the party one at a time to have a chance to catch up in a more intimate setting.
The brevity of it all hammered home how meaningful it had been to spend the previous afternoon with so many of the out-of-town guests. Only as we began our goodbyes did we start to understand (to our delight) just how many people weren't saying bye just yet—they'd all scheduled in our after party. (Thank you, withjoy—our wedding website—for spreading the word!)
Pink hearts and Congrats! balloons jostled each other above our mailbox, surrounded by a fleet of vehicles, as we pulled up to my parents' driveway. Soon enough, we'd pulled the beer tap dry and the backyard card game was going strong. For all you horrible people who love Cards Against Humanity and are considering marriage, I can't recommend Cads About Matrimony highly enough. It was the perfect way to mark my wedding with my cousins, that crowd with whom I stay up late one night just after Christmas each year to continue the hallowed tradition that is Cousins Campout, which has matured like a fine wine from tents in backyards as kids, to steins and late night games now that we've come of age. I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time that card game makes an appearance at an Aloia family wedding.
No after party is complete without the after-after party. At least that's what we decided as the part wound down to my 5th West (college dorm) and Paris friends. We hopped in our cards and drove down to Philly to toast the night over beers and bar food at an unexpected Sunday night happy hour at Kraftwork. I can't believe how much I've missed that crew. Having them all together and reliving all the crazy moments brought me back to the best that MIT offered me. It was unreal. I can't express how glad I am to see that these relationships haven't been lost to time, a reassurance I can't often have when living on the other side of an ocean.
The after-after-party at Kraftwork
I was so touched to see so many friends and family from so many stages of my life coming together after all these years. I guess the years had numbed me to how much I miss everyone. I may love life in Europe, but this weekend drove home some of the sacrifices that have come with the lifestyle I choose. But, surrounded by so much love, it was hard for any of that realization to feel bittersweet just then.
As for the rest of the trip, there's not much to say. There was some passport renewal, then more passport renewal—write that off as a general fiasco. Suffice it to say that Nicolas's first trip to the East Coast of the US included way more of the inside of admin buildings that of actual tourist attractions. At least this East Coast trip shouldn't be his last.
And after it all was over, there were at least a pair of furry someones who were not unhappy to see their humans come to their senses and return to England.
Finally, back at home in England with our furbabies.
Our rings are carefully tucked away, my make-up and hair are washed clean, and my family and I are all happily crashing at home. We made it! The whole evening just went from good to better. My biggest regret is that we didn't pay our photographer to stay and capture the whole extravaganza! After our ceremony, the guests were treated to a bi-lingual after-hours guided tour of the Royal Pavilion while Nicolas and I had our newlyweds photo shoot, whose highlight was unquestionably the moment a little girl came up to me to ask if I was a real princess, since I'd just emerged from a palace wearing a Disney princess gown and a tiara. *Dying just thinking about it. *
Inside the Royal Pavilion (mostly the Music Room)
Touring the Royal Pavilion grounds (and meeting another little princess)
We met our guests in the Music Room, where we ran through a few family shots before taking it outside.
Family of the bride
Family of the groom
Nicolas and I finally got our grand bubble entrance as the full wedding party, all of those who'd been in the ceremony and those who'd live-streamed it from the bar next door, welcomed the newlyweds out of the Royal Pavilion. It turns out that bubbles are even cuter and much less corny than I'd feared.
Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds!
Next came the photographer's to-do list:
Group shot: check
Ladies of MIT: check
Sorority sisters: check
All the beauties rocking English hair accessories: check
Before I knew it, I was ready to get my my fur on for a stroll through town. Esin guided most of our guests to our waterfront reception using our custom-made lantern designed from our unused Burning the Clocks kit. Who'd have imagined this fate for our lantern kit when we ran out of time for crafting last December? Tagging along a few minutes later (dresses don't bustle themselves!), we enjoyed a barrage of compliments and congratulations as we walked through the Lanes and across the waterfront.
A celebratory stroll through the Lanes and across the waterfront to our reception
And those awful clouds that darkened the backdrop of the Royal Pavilion? They cleared just in time for us and all our guests to bask in a glorious sunset as the evening festivities began.
A quick shot in front of Brighton's iconic West Pier, just before slipping into Alfresco, our reception venue
Check out that sunset in the works! Our photographer had warned me not to hold my breath for this. Ha!
The table of honor, awaiting us
But before we took those sunset snaps, I enjoyed one of my best wedding decisions: the second dress. Slipping out of the gorgeous but lung-defying corseted Ian Stuart gown just in time to start eating and dancing absolutely made my night. In a 50's inspired tea-length lace dress, I breathed deeply for the first time in hours, and skipped my way back onto our pebble beaches for those last few professional photos. (Did I mention I also wore flats? Count that in as the other best decision of the day.)
And there you have it, our sunset on the beach. Brighton did us proud.
Then came the food, the dancing, and the toasts. And, unlike what everyone told us, we definitely got the chance to eat, and eat well. There was just so much fabulous food to choose from. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Alfresco for anyone looking for a waterfront wedding reception in Brighton.
Our fathers both charmed with their lovely toasts, but it was Nicolas's eldest sister's family who stole the show with their personalized rendition of the YMCA song, set to our initials, NKER. And with that, the dance floor was open. We threw our months of dance lessons to the wind with our first dance to Hall and Oates's You Make My Dreams Come True, which our families kindly agreed to storm us on, half way through. Soon enough, the dance floor was packed and the night was flying. The most brilliant moment was Nicolas and my impromptu pole dance, video of which I have yet to acquire after more than a little asking around. (I haven't given up yet.)
The doorbell rang. Our photographer, Jacqui, had arrived. Nicolas was back from work and was battling with his necktie. (Yes, my wonderful husband found a way to work on our wedding day in between the family breakfast and our 2:30 photography appointment.) Wasn't it about time to start feeling nervous or emotional or something beyond slightly suffocated by my corset? I smiled for the camera, and felt a smidgen disappointed that the corset couldn't suck in my waist a bit more. I guess everyone imagines a Cinderella-esque transformation after the Fairy Godmothers, aka the professional hair and make-up team, work their magic. So there is a moment of deflation upon discovering that the reflection peering back from the mirror is just a shinier version of oneself, imperfections and all.
A shinier version of me, ready and waiting to show off to my almost-husband
Me and my little princess, waiting for our Prince Charming to emerge
Was I right about my mom having a way with flowers or what?
All dolled up
Posing with the proud parents
I remember the relief, there was certainly that emotion. It was high time to be done obsessing over this day. And about time get my hands on a wedding certificate and all the associated rights. There was also the calm joy, muted by all the other events that led us here so quickly, but the joy nonetheless to be making Nicolas my husband. Although we'd been living together for years, and we share a home, cats, and a joint bank account, there's still something so affirming about officially committing to a lifetime together. Still, I thought I'd feel, I don't know, something more.
I just love this picture. I'm not sure my husband will ever learn to tie a tie.
The "Big Reveal" was entertaining enough, especially since there wasn't much to surprise Nicolas as I'd already showed him photos of my dress, never expecting that he'd respond by telling me he'd rather save it for the wedding day. Mr. No-Proposal-My-Fiancee-Can-Find-Her-Own-Ring suddenly believed in tradition? Still, we played along. Geraldine covered Nicolas's eyes as she guided him to me in the living room.
Our "Big Reveal"
And then we had the photos, countless snaps as we toured our private gardens with our own secret tunnel to the sea, our witnesses by our sides. Yes, my dear reader, cue the photo dump.
Yes, that's an Easter Bunny! This was Easter weekend, after all.
So. Brighton.
And suddenly, it was time to call a taxi. The Royal Pavilion awaited!
Taxi'ing to our wedding
I was still entertained by how we'd managed to squeeze some many fancy-looking people into one plain taxi as I emerged into the throngs of wedding guests mulling about outside the Royal Pavilion. They had come from all over to be here for us! And they all looked so happy! Yep, this was really it.
Our wedding programs, ready to be handed out
We peeled ourselves away to go confirm our details with the registrar, and then we barely had time to launch a live stream video with Esin's help before lining up the processional.
Our wedding procession, presented chronologically, clockwise from top left corner
The ceremony didn't go off without a hitch— it seems Nicolas's parents didn't quite get the concept of walking a child down the aisle, and our officiant certainly could not wrap her head around our French names. But all in all, for a simple civil ceremony, it was surprisingly lovely. I was particularly pleased that we said our vows in both English and French, as it meant a lot to me that we each made such big commitments in both our native tongues. But I was also glad we just stuck to the legal vows. I felt no compulsion to make this ceremony long and sappy. It was a joyous little moment, not the time for over-sentimentality (apart from an instant when my parents "gave me away"), but a time to revel in our fantastic fortunes to have found our best friends and life partners in each other.
We put a ring on it!
For once, I felt surprisingly present in the moment, and very happy to be there. And I couldn't help notice Nicolas, my emotional blank canvas of a husband, getting a little teary-eyed, which made the moment that much more touching.
Showing off my new ring in between signing our marriage certificates
Sing along now: We-are-family!
Take that, world! Marriage certificate in hand, I can stay in the same country as Nicolas and take my new job too!
After a brief interruption right at the end of the ceremony when a staffer came in to discuss a missing tour guide, we danced our way out to the sounds of The Darkness's I Believe in a Thing Called Love. In that moment, I like to think the whole room believed too.
